tears
Tuesday, September 15
tear. (noun.)a drop of the saline, watery fluid secreted by the lacrimal glands between the surface of the eye and the eyelid, serving to moisten and lubricate these parts and keep them clear of foreign particles. appearing in or flowing from the eye as the result of emotion.everyone tears. it's part of being human.
i've teared when i'm disappointed, grieved, lost.
i've teared when i'm elated, ecstatic, joyful.
i've teared when i'm grateful, touched beyond human words can describe.
and yet, today brought forth tears for reasons i never thought possible. these tears were tears of fury.
tears filled with burning rage, anger, and fury. tears which each contained every bit of pent up rage and feelings of injustice. tears which burned with a fire of their own as they rolled down hot flushed cheeks.
never in my life had i faced such an unreasonable, illogical opponent who lacked common sense and respect for others. a person who sought to exert rights she didnt have but believed to possess. a person who justified her anger by claiming she had lessons non-stop. a person who exploded into a forray of verbal lashing, cutting off our every word. and most importantly, a figure of authority who should be setting an example.
through this entire time, my anger rose from the very depths and boiled to the surface. with every bit of my body, heart, soul and mind, i suppressed the anger within me. with the usual outlet sealed up completely, the anger released itself through the only other outlet it could find. tears.
but these werent just tears of fury. they were tears of victory. tears which represented my triumph over anger within.
my emotions urged me to blast her to bits. my dignity told me to walk away. my tongue begged to lash out with four letters. but God helped me triumph over it all.
He stopped me from disrespecting authority, no matter how unreasonble she was being. He made me realise that responding as i was tempted to would make me no better than this foe of mine. all in all, He gave me strength to do what was right in His eyes.
and definitely, the feelings we get when obey God is truly incomparable to the self-satisfaction we'd feel if we took matters into our own hands. a great sense of peace filled my body as i walked away after the entire hour of battling, lifting every bit of anger within me to the Lord, letting Him rid me of it, and letting Him filling me with His joy which is my strength (:
a battle against anger, and God helped me emerge victorious (: i really encourage everyone to call on God amidst all these kind of situations in life, as He will definitely help you to glorify Him in all your ways, as long as we too are willing to glorify Him (:
it's really fun :D wheeeeeeeee!
AMEN;
12:23 am
